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Do I feel calm, peaceful and relaxed with this person? Intimacy is always on the woman's terms. Can you resolve your differences and find compromises that work for both of you?

Men and women have unique emotional needs, and more often than not, it is the man who just doesn't "get it. Anything that bothers you about the relationship must be brought up for discussion. You pick the wrong person because you don't put everything on the table. Never be afraid to let the person know what bothers you.

To avoid growing apart, you must figure out what you're "living for," while you're single -- and then find someone who has come to the same conclusion as you.

There's a big difference between "controlling" and "making suggestions. You pick the wrong person because you focus more on chemistry than on character. Blind love is not the way to choose a spouse. Here are practical tools for keeping your eyes wide open.

You need to know now, before making a commitment: Does this person make me feel good about myself?

If anything, marriage will exacerbate them. Bringing up the uncomfortable stuff is the only way to evaluate how well the two of you communicate, negotiate, and work together.

The husband needs to give her consistent, quality attention. When the man forgets about his own needs and focuses on giving his wife pleasure, amazing things happen.

Ask yourself the following questions: A person who hasn't separated from his or her parents is the classic example of triangulation. If you're afraid to express your feelings and opinions openly, there's a problem with the relationship.

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Be on the look out for someone who is always trying to change you. Of all the studies done on divorce, incompatibility in the intimate arena is almost never cited as a main reason why people divorce.

When a man is able to switch gears and become more experience-oriented, he will discover what makes his wife very happy.

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This is also a way for you to test how vulnerable you can be with this person. You will not be their number one priority.

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Do I want to have a child with this person? This is most apparent in Judaism's approach to intimacy.

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Over the course of a lifetime, difficulties will inevitably arise. The golden rule is, if you can't be happy with the person the way he or she is now, don't get married.

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As a wise woman once pointed out, "Men have two speeds: Does this person like himself? Would I like my child to turn out like him or her? The two go hand in hand.

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Be careful that you and your partner are free of triangles. You choose the wrong person because you do not share a common life goals and priorities. You pick the wrong person because you use the relationship to escape from personal problems and unhappiness.

Chemistry ignites the fire, but good character keeps it burning.